Why Did I Write a Holiday Fart Book?
The Twelve Fartrageous Days of Christmas
You might be wondering. It’s truly an odd holiday topic. But here’s the low down, the backstory, and all the stinkin’ details on The Twelve Fartrageous Days of Christmas.
Selling on Amazon and using their ad program can be quite nerve-racking, especially during the holidays. Last year, I monitored the top children’s Christmas books, and there were many about flatulence or flatulence-related topics: Freddy the Farting Snowman, Fritz the Farting Reindeer, Santa’s Underwear, Santa’s Tooting Tooshie, Gomer the Gassy Goat, and more. I was talking with my husband, explaining this phenomenon, and I blurted out, “It’s like the twelve farts of Christmas!” And the idea was, shall we say, let loose!
I thought it would be fun to follow The Twelve Days of Christmas concept. It starts on Christmas Day, and gifts accumulate each day for a dozen days. The cumulative text is a great learning tool! The ordinal numbers partnered with the counting of the gifts are sneaky math moments.
So, can farts accumulate? Of course! I think some of the farting characters will surprise you. I worked to keep as many of the same rhythms and alliterations as possible from the original song. There’s also a dreamy little storyline to help it all make sense in the end. Some lines from other popular Christmas tunes are woven into the narrative, too.
As you can imagine, I’m no stranger to farting. I heard “pull my finger” more times than I can remember growing up. My dad would use the word “foose” which I had blocked from my memory, but a sweet friend recently reminded me of it. (Great word smash by my dad years ago!) After marrying and having sons, farting was a top priority around the house. Yes, yes, I too have daintily passed gas on occasion. (Do not ask my neighbors about Canada!) It happens. Remember, everyone farts, so why not have some fun with it?
In fact, there are Fart Smarts in the back of the book to help you learn more and end the shame! For example, did you know most farts happen at night while you sleep? Phew (or pew), what a relief. Also, farts are estimated to travel 6.8 miles per hour. You’ll have to read the rest in the book.
If you’d like to take a look at this fartrageous (I love word smashing) book, with seek-and-find art designed by Daniel Wlodarski, the ebook is free on 11/16 for anyone on Amazon; and it’s always free for KU members. The paperback is on Amazon. The limited edition hardcover is exclusively on my website. There’s a free downloadable word search on my website as my gift to you.
If you’ve read this crazy book (or better yet, you sang it!), leave a review on Amazon and let me know what you thought! Oh, and don’t worry – I am I.M. Witty!
Do you have any holiday fart stories you’d like to share? Leave me a comment.